Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
