I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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