If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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