can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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