what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
