I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
