we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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