I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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