it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
