Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
