OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
