I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize