Pass out mid-funnel last night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
