I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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