Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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