Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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