Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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