He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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