Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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