Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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