Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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