omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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