I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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