I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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