I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
