Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
