The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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