I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
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That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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