I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
