Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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