The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
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You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
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Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!