i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave