Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire