it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
