Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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