Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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