Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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