I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
