ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
