bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have fence marks all over my body
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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