Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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