I feel great
I just peed on a car
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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