That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
