Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
