i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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