It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I still have a little drunk in my system
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
