i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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