my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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