Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize