Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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