You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
