I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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