It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
