we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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