Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
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it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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